Life as a Researcher

          Being a researcher requires so much of me. I have to be away from my family for days, weeks and so. Though I love my job, I get to go to places for free, learn their ways of life and meet different people and even make friends along the way..but, if you are a mother like me, it can also be heart-breaking, especially in times when your child/ren are not feeling well and you aren't there to comfort them. 
          That is exactly what I felt and continues to feel right now. My daughter is complaining that one of her ear is aching, she even cried when I called her. That really made me cry. I wanted so much to comfort her because I know it is painful but I just cant because I''m miles away from her. Then, we have decided to bring her to the doctor which even broke my heart because I can't be there with her during the doctor and worst her father can't also accompany her. She had to go to the doctor together with her uncle and papalo. I felt so guilty why I had to be away when I am her mother, I should be there. Up until now if I think about it, it makes me cry.
          Yesterday, I was looking through her pictures and I cant keep myself from crying. 



How can she grow up so fast? She was just this little and now she's almost done with first grade. I felt so bad because I think I missed a lot of things in her toddler years because I had to work..but I had to!
         Although I cant keep myself from feeling this way, I am thankful because she is growing up to be a smart and understanding kid. She understands why I had to be away from her at times. She understands if I cant attend school activities. But despite all these, I am so proud of her because she is doing well in school. 
         I asked Papay to talk to her teacher yesterday since she was absent since Monday but to our surprise, the teacher congratulated us because our daughter is an honor student. Although I had to admit that I was expecting a little that she'll make it to the honor roll but I was just telling her that ribbon doesn't matter, what matters is that she is doing her best every time. I just want to encourage her to do her best and not pressure her to be in the honor list, I just want her to enjoy grade school.
       Nevertheless, despite feeling sorry for being a working mom, it all paid off if you have a daughter who makes you proud and assures you that she's going to be alright for you not to worry so much.
          I must have done something nice to deserve you, anak! I love you so much and remember that I am always proud of you with honor or none.
          I miss you so much already. I can't wait to be with you again.


Missing you all the way from Palawan,

Mamay


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